YouTuber Marzia calls it quits in a personal video about mental healthOctober 22, 2018
YouTuber Marzia Bisognin is leaving the platform. The fashion and lifestyle vlogger announced in a video today that after much consideration and personal introspection, she’s ready to leave YouTube behind. “All I have is this feeling that it is time for me to try something new in my life,” she says. “This may seem so sudden to most of you, probably, but it is something that I knew for a long time. Especially this year I’ve struggled with finding a reason to keep going.”
On YouTube, Marzia has covered everything from makeup, fashion, travel, and personal vlogs. Currently, she has a following of 7.4 million YouTube subscribers, 5.4 million Instagram followers, and 3.94 million Twitter followers. In her video today, she recounts her journey to becoming a YouTuber, beginning with her relationship with Felix Kjellberg, better known as PewDiePie.
“I ended up in front of the computer a lot, and for the first time I started realizing how much there was on YouTube,” she says. “Obviously Felix was doing it for a few months at this point, but it never occurred to me that there could be much more than cat videos and gaming … seeing all this variety on YouTube really opened up a whole new world for me.”
As Kjellberg’s popularity soared, however, their life together became far more packed with travel and events. “I was thrilled for Felix, but I felt like I was a fraud,” she says. “I definitely didn’t deserve all the attention. I just happened to know someone who did.” Eventually, Marzia says, she was struggling to complete everyday tasks or even leave the house. “After a few months, I realized it was because I had allowed myself to become completely cut off from the world,” she says. “I wasn’t seeking any friendships and I was just finding comfort in my own little bubble on YouTube. I think it’s great how people can relate to others online. I grew so much more confident because of it, but if you allow it to take over your life, I think it’s not healthy.“
YouTube has been in the midst of a creator burnout crisis for years, and the platform continues to fail its creators in helping to find a healthy balance. There are no safety nets in place to help creators who need a break; it’s at the discretion of creators themselves of when, and if, they’re able to step away. Many find it hard to do so, fearing that they’ll be punished by their audience or by YouTube’s algorithm.
Marzia says that her desire to move on from YouTube comes from a personal place. “I don’t want to force myself to keep going when I feel like I’m ready to do something different,” she says. “I hope this doesn’t come across as me being tired of this. It’s not about that. It’s about me needing to find my path. Because for a long time I’ve felt like I was following someone else’s, and I think it’s about time that I give myself a chance with something else.”